Best 8 weeks

I enjoyed our time together, love. So much. 

I am always the one yang selalu ada craving even when I'm not expecting, and it was good. But when you know you are expecting, it became double jolly good. 

Everything became so special and even taste better than some that I had bought earlier. 

At first, I really don't know how people say, "mengidam lah tu". I truly don't know. 

So one time, your dad and I were about to have dinner. Then I simply want coconut shake. 

But at first, I thought it probably cuz I am really hungry. So we go eat heavy stuff first lah. Your dad as usual, taknak kalah. Sup tulang + nasi putih, coupled with some timun and belacan. 

But then again, even after we stuffed outselves - I didn't feel full at all. 

So it was exactly 1030pm, I told your dad > I wanted coconut shake. Alhamdulillah, everything was put to ease. Mula mula rasa macam nak a sip or two je. Last last, large cup to feed the craving. Then only, I thought wow! You can't really be full until you get it. 

And again, the craving list continues. I read a lot abt first trimester. So, I'm going to feed myself as long as it's ok. Mommy likes spicy food, dear. Had put to stop for a while. 

Luckily, things I wanted was easier to get. 

I requested laksa at 9pm. Your dad tried to be ready for the mission. We were lucky. 

And there was more to come. 

"Asam pedas?" "Jom"

"Sate minang?" "How much?"

"Aiskrim?" "OK"

I have never seen your dad being so supportive and how he put aside his mood just to accommodate mine. You can see mommy proud , dear one. 

Last but not least, it took us 2 weeks to find lemang sebab bau buluh lemang is so dang soothing at that point of time. 

So your granny had to balik kampung and find one. 

We were not ready to travel again and go for another bumpy ride. But it was a good dish. 

Unfortunately, it was the last one I craved. 

We took you for the 10 weeks scan, and see no sign of living heart. I truly believed I see it, cuz I heard it last 2 weeks. 

Wallahu that is the best beating heart I ever heard. Your dad stayed calm and just being the man at ease himself. 

I couldn't help myself but to miss you so much and wondering what could possibly go wrong. 

Everything stopped for me when they confirmed you're no longer there. Physically here but there will be no 9 months of living inside me. 

Your dad and I have so many wish for us dear one. But Allah knows better, and I shall see you soon ok. 

Innalillahi wainnailahi raji'un.