Day 18 - You are still inside

It's been more than 2 weeks since we checked you dear one. We are pulling all strengths together to see you on the screen again. 

Mommy finally made the hardest decision to pull you out of me. I talked to Allah so much about you. I want you to be happy. I want to meet you so badly. Everything. But we have to move and we want to continue to add up your brothers and sisters. 

So we both see doctor today. 

"Can we go for D&C at this point?"

"Maaf puan. Kami tak dapat benarkan. Too many consequences. Rahim boleh calar dan akan menipis puan. Boleh jadi excessive bleeding and end up kita tak boleh pakai rahim dan terpaksa buang. Even ubat, saya tak galakkan puan ambil. Ubat abortion akan betul betul runtuhkan dinding rahim dan habiskan sisa semua untuk keluar dari rahim cepat. Tapi kita tak tahu how much does the bleeding continues. 

Minta maaf puan. Proses ambil masa yang lama sikit. Maksimum saya bagi 6 minggu dan kami akan terus monitor puan.

Hari ni kita boleh scan je and tengok progress"

"So now? Kita scan?"

"Yes"

The vibes were so different. We were ready for what to comes next. 

Yep. You know it dear. 

The scanning room again. 

"So mcm mana doktor?"

"No sign to bleed soon. Ok puan tengok ni, yg bergerak mcm denyut ni, ini uri. Means uri dia hidup lagi, still active. Mother still supply blood and all activities are still going. Cuma baby je takde. Until uri stop active, then only dinding rahim akan jatuh. That's when bleeding happens. 

Tapi saya tengolk rahim puan kuat ni. Everything still attached and intact together. No sign of the baby going out soon. So till then, kita tunggu je. "

Well I don't know about your dad. But I felt so different knowing you are still safe there. 

Knowing I am still strong to carry you around. 

Yada yada. People will tell this and that. But you know Mommy better and I know you love this home. 

So let's give it another 2 weeks. 

Semoga bertemu kita, sayang.