Penutup 2023

Ke hadapan dunia sementara penuh barakah,

Aku pilih untuk terus jadi optimistik untuk masa mendatang. Setakat ini, masih mampu bertahan. 

Too much to tell, but when you read this dear self - remember that you once loved everyone and you are not forgetting. You just decide to keep those who worthy. 

January 2023

Vibes masih sama untuk celebrate birthday of my eldest sister and my most loving husband! 

Always ka-ching with cakes and gifts and ways to make every year interesting. But as time goes by - we found out that the only essential part is family stick together at all times. 

March 2023

Celebrating 1-year post miscarriage with all the pantang larang. Puasa laksa setahun. And all of other junks deemed not good for recovery.

May 2023

We were very careful to announce another bun in the oven. Sangat sangat berhati hati. We sinply don't want more souls crushing. Cukuplah 365 hari yang lepas. Took me a year to emotionally recovered. Farid always know the cues.

Anything can tick you. 

The triggered point was I know my body was not quite right. I was breathing but simply a wrong way to live. 

While Farid simpan angan-angan nak beli motor baru. I was committed to be a supportive wife, of course. 

Long story short - I told Farid "Give me a day to think about it". He was happy enough knowing I was actually considering. Later that night - I tried to keep it low. Took a test and it was +ve. 

Nak bagitahu now or tomorrow?

I was shocked more than I cried. Apparently not a single tear. Told Farid - he acted the other way around. Motor baru is no longer in the picture. 

The reply was still fresh - "we're gonna have a baby. I'm gonna be ayah soon?"

And that's how May worked for us. 

Some time in 2023?

Plan nak earn extra money. I have always wanted a part time job but terpaling mudah punya kerja. 

Rezeki Allah bagi - the money I earned and more are not for us. I got scammed into thinking the job was legit. Bye bye 10k. Even bold enough to borrow. 

Tapi syukur ada suami seperti Farid yang sangat sabar dengan perangai wife dia. 

It was clearly working day and he got to the phone and rang me.. "it's okay love, we're gonna do this together"

Somehow I felt so calm and never told him about it. It was from being totally terrified probably be threaten and died? To being the happiest person cuz I made the right choice by marrying him. 

Nak dijadikan cerita. I owe people money. And luckily my math is still good to do advance calculation to how much of repayment can be managed. 

Allah Maha Baik untuk memberi peringatan yang harta dunia adalah sementara.

December 2023

Fast forward to my baby, whereas now you are 37 weeks. I admit that I have my doubt. The trauma is still fresh. 

This time around - we decided to just be healthy as we can be. Be generous and kind as much possible. 

The daily reminders of we're going to be parent soon work both ways. Farid never fails to remind my eating window. While me on the other hand, thrive to get him puasa maki setahun cuz daddy doesn't do that. Hahaha.

There you go. 

Dear self - 2023 has its ups and downs. Be positive. Believe in Allah's plan.