My body produces milk. Milk came out of my body.
Ya Allah. My baby should've taste that and be chubbier than ever. I should've been tired from late night breastfeeding. I should've been tired from having mummy's swollen breasts.
I tried my best to avoid social media. But babies are everywhere. I couldn't stop thinking about the next 7 months we should be.
I see baby bumps everywhere too. Cats can amuse me, but it's only temporarily.
I tried to be busy but I never miss to remember you.
Daddy is trying hard to make me happy, make me healthy again. And day by day, Daddy is trying to be patience. I know it's hard for him to keep me sane. Somehow, day by day I don't know if I am ever to let go.
I miss you so much inside me.
I miss your heartbeat from the day I saw it moved.
I miss the craving and Daddy and I were really excited to fulfill those crazy cravings.
I miss the sickness you gave me early morning.
But I know, I need to let go.
I have to let you go, ok?
They said confinement gonna be strict. They forgot to mention that missing you is even harder. They forgot to say that the first 14 days are going to be rough.
I am trying hard my love.
I am trying. I love your Daddy so much and I will try to get better.
Daddy been very good to me. Don't worry. He's the best person I could ask for. You would be proud too.
He's taking care of me really well.
As I said, today is day 5 from the loss.
I cried and grief almost everyday. Being easily pissed off and all those confusing moment and emotions.
But Daddy is helping me to be better.
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